Yeah...I've got control issues

12/19/2022 12:15 PM Comment(s) By Jburns

When life shares its lemons...Take Nyquil ;)

Being sick sucks. This year I got whatever fun virus was going around (not covid…I took the test) and sharing its love.  I started feeling crummy the day after Thanksgiving. I preceded to exile myself to the basement with my favorite comfy pajamas and many cups of tea.  I had a long talk with my white blood cells to attack this butthead of a virus and show them who’s boss.  I also started taking Nyquil to boost their fighting power.  Alas…I remained sick and energy less for 4 days. Finally, I felt decent enough to take a shower (much to my family’s delight) and try to move a bit.  I proceeded to feel ½ to ¾ crummy for the next 4 days.  I am not a patient sick person.  My compulsive need to “do” things wants to override my good sense to allow myself to get well…fully before I started “doing again”.  And I certainly think it shouldn’t last 8 freaking days.  You’d think after experiencing a concussion 1.5 years ago that some patience might have found its way into my persona.  I struggle with not rushing the healing process.  We want to feel like ourselves again, to which I’ve been told we cannot go back to our old selves after concussion, injury or illness we can only move forward and embrace our new selves which now includes that experience. Guess that’s the case with most everything.

I often hear about the power of our thoughts, our mind over our matter.  Has anyone explained this to the viruses, cancers, injuries, diseases and other mishaps that plague our existence. Somewhere in there we must find acceptance of whatever microscopic entity that has highjacked our lives and find our willingness to heal.  Much to my “to-do list’s” chagrin.  Maybe it’s just me, but letting these little bugs hijack my life pisses me off.  My brain has one idea about what needs to be done and my body says “whoa, wait a minute, not sure I want to let you have the energy to do that today”. (Evil laugh can be heard in the background.) I know that we must slow down and listen, allow ourselves to be human (and being sick or injured or emotionally out of sorts is being human) and give ourselves the time and the grace it takes to truly heal and get well.  Which in our infinite human wisdom is not written on our paper or electronic calendars. (Ackk!)

This is why I’m trying to publicly own that I have control issues. I’m trying to allow myself time, give myself grace, and ask my family pitch in with all the holiday preparations. I don’t want to miss the good stuff with my family.  I want to be well NOW, not in a week or two. And that’s probably why my body said “I’ll show you” when I woke up this morning and my right nostril was so clogged no air would pass. Ugghh! Another 4 days being sick with a different virus (not covid). I’m extending my empathy to you because we’ve all been there.  I want you to know that allowing space and time for truly getting well and truly healing is a process and one that we cannot rush…no matter how much we want to be in control or tell those pesky microscopic organisms different. Thank you for the opportunity to rant.

May your holidays be happy and healthy, and may you find joy in the little things like not having a stuffy nose. And if you are feeling under the weather…be patient, reach out for help, accept love and care, and be well as soon as your body gives the thumbs up!


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